one pure thought
away from
gold..
so i’ve been
taught
to know what’s
real from
not
the kind of
livin’
that’ll keep me from
growing old.
shadow work
come in crashing,
i’ll catch you
gladly
and steady us
both,
but won’t hold
the full
load–
’cause i’m too
shaky..
and this i
know.
i drown my hands in
childhood streams-
to feel water cleanse
the guilt and
regret,
then splash it on
my face,
to remind me
i’m not
dead.
tilt the compass,
run towards
us..
arms
motioning-
inviting those lost
into their
clasp
to defend
all..
from decays
of past.
this isn’t down
or up..
but some other
direction
i’ve never been pulled
towards before,
no longer hanging loose
or stuck to any
ceiling-
losing hold
on familiar feelings.
love rolled over me
with smoky
breath
upon shaken
sea,
now what’s left
to believe..
of fable so
foggy
its details can’t be
retrieved?
missed my own
phone call–
watching fog lights
on dry wall,
while nursing a
wet cough,
a shout in the
stairwell
midst a spirited
farewell–
i just want to
shut off.
locked doors and
keychains,
stone wings and
left brains,
no umbrella in
mind’s rain,
a sewer grate..
overflowing,
as heart
tells..
without knowing.
farewells are
awkward
but so is such
a silence,
let’s just fill space
with truth
and fade down
our own
paths.
a change i hate to
consider
demands its
all i do,
and i’m not
strong enough today
to turn away,
are you?
hands in the garden 
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